This weekend has been a total mindf*uck. My fiance told me that one of the ‘coaches’ that she follows tells people that they should only do the things that they like in their businesses and in their lives. She apparently says that people should write down all the tasks that they need to do in their businesses and in their day to day lives. Now the explanation was not all that clear in translation, but from what I understood, this coach says that each task should be rated – and if it is not in the top 20% it should either be delegated, “surrendered” to – or completely removed from your list.
Delegation is a great thing – for CEOs, managers, or those with subservient mates (or teenagers). Many of us simply do not have anyone to always delegate to or the resources to hire things done.
Still the same, I really wanted to consider this point of view and see if it is feasible in my life. I thought about my recent day to day tasks – and most of them are really just that – tasks. For the past couple of months and since I quit traveling so much, I have been getting up way too early to go to the gym with Stacia. The alarm started going off at 5am M-F and recently ‘improved’ to 4:45am. This is so that we can leave the gym at 7am and Stacia can get home to take Makaya to school. To add some context, for well over a year, I used to get up at 2 or 3 am so I could go to the gym when there were not a lot of noisy, inconsiderate people there. I usually slept 2 times a day, each for 3 or 4 hours. I actually enjoyed that – and my workouts were great.
Now I do love Stacia very much and really, REALLY (did I say ‘REALLY’?) want her to get smerakda giannini into the best shape of her life so she can see how much better she looks and feels – BUT I really do not like going to the gym with her. My solo gym sessions are much like church for the religious or meditation for those who meditate. Believe it or not – they are totally relaxing and invigorating. I have missed them A LOT.
But I do digress. When I started going to the gym with Stacia, it became a task. I’d find myself waiting in the car out in the parking lot, while she took her time getting ready. Too often I would just be starting my day pissed off and tired. Very rarely did we even say one word to each other during the 10 minute drive. Once we got to the gym, I would let myself get frustrated by her apparent lack of desire to work hard and put in max effort. The one thing I have enjoyed about these workouts is driving home and telling each other three things we appreciate. Gratitude is something I never want to lack in my life. It pays back so greatly … Speaking of which, I am grateful that Stacia does want to improve herself and get healthy. I also appreciate that she got up and went to the gym by herself today…. I want, need and deserve a healthy and happy partner.
While we were talking yesterday about only doing tasks that one likes, I explained to her that I didn’t want to hurt her, but that there are many tasks that I have adopted that I absolutely HATE doing. I don’t like going to the gym with her. I don’t like cooking for her and Makaya. I especially don’t like cleaning up dishes, pots and pans and the kitchen after them. Laundry is perhaps my least favorite activity in the world. In my mind, someone has to do these tasks and if I don’t, then nobody will.